Getting back to ordinary life (maybe not back, but closer)

The romantic view of going to live in another country has you exploring your new surroundings and learning new things every day.  You meet new people and create connections in your new home that will stick with you forever.  These things are happening, it just happens in less dramatic ways.  With work and school, a great portion of our days are taken up by the routine.  Martha, on the other hand, is free to spend her days carefree... Well, more carefree.

We gave you some pictures of our new ride.  In Ireland, it's called an MPV - read minivan.  We've turned the translation of MPV from multi-person vehichle to Martha's Purple Van.  To get the MPV into motion, we had to ultimately get Irish driver's license and  a while back and talked about taking our driving tests, which we passed brilliantly (Joe promised not to talk about actually scores and who scored higher).  All that was real good and gave us a renewed sense of freedom that the Dublin Bus or DART (train) didn't.  There was a catch, however.  What the RSA (Road Safety Administration - read DMV) giveth, the RSA taketh away.  Not that they actually took it, but a very large string was attached.  Passing that test gave us a "Learner's Permit".  The law says that those with a learner's permit must NEVER driver on a motorway (read: express way where you can go fast) and must ALWAYS have an experienced driver with you.  The second one is somewhat problematic, so if you know anyone that lives in Ireland and has nothing better to do that be on call for that short-notice drive to the grocery store, let us know.  Otherwise, keep you mouth shut and don't tell the RSA that we're completely ignoring that law.  To be fair, every normal Irish person we've talked to outside of the driving industry has apologized profusely for what is happening to us with regard to these requirements and has told us to completely flout the law.

To get the real driver's license, we have to do two things:

1. Take 12 hours of driving lessons.
2. Pass the 45 minute driving test.

Technically, there was a 3rd. Wait 6 months after obtaining the learner's permit.  The driving establishment did make a concession for us here in that anyone that had a license from any recognized country could waive that rule.  Of course getting the waiver requires contact and forms with another bureaucracy and a letter from the DMV in your own country.  Have any of you EVER attempted to get a customized letter from the DMV?  It's impossible and I settled for a computer generated one that I pray will suffice.  

Yes, Martha and I can now be seen driving around occasionally with a driving instructor and giant scarlet "L's" stuck to our front and back windscreens (read: windshields) to identify the fact that another Irish driving instructor is being gainfully employed.  After this person leaves the vehicle, our shameful letter is discreetly removed.

A couple of comments on our lessons and it will be time to head back to that ordinary life (read:  go to work).

1. The parking brake.  According to our driving instructors, any time your vehicle is going to be stopped for more than 5 seconds, the driver should use the parking brake.  On Dublin roads, this actually requires pulling up on the handle and hearing that familiar zip about every 5 seconds.  Okay, I exaggerate.  Every 10 seconds.
2. Observation.  To successfully complete this requirement, the driver is required to have neck surgery that enables them to turn their head like an owl about every 5 seconds.  The instructor refers to this as the 5 points of observation.  Left shoulder, left mirror, rear-view mirror, right mirror, right shoulder.  Every breath,  your should check these spots, because you just never know.  Each driving lesson is followed by a trip to the RSA sanctioned chiropractor to receive an adjustment.
3. Forget how you were taught to steer.  Hand over hand, no.  Palming the wheel?  Nope.  Gangsta with the wrist over the top?  NEVER.  The Irish shuffle is the way to go if you want to pass.  Never should your right hand pass over between 6 and 12 and never should your left enter the dark side of 12 to 6.

Try these things the next time you jump in the car for a quick trip somewhere.  Even our instructors have told us that we're welcome to forget all these things once we pass the drivers test.  As one riding a bike to work and having been cut off by left turning cars nearly every day in the bike lane, I can safely say that every Irish person has forgotten rule number 2.  And if every Irish driver followed rule number 1, the collective racket would register on some type of interstellar sound monitors as the noise traveled to other galaxies.  

We're well on our way to getting through this little road ramp (read: road bump or traffic calming device) and then we'll be a bit more comfortable as we move about our new land (legally).

Till next time...