For all those I've told over the years that I had the flu and couldn't come to work, I apologize.
For all the times I said I couldn't do something I promised, because I had the flu, I apologize.
For all those that told me they had the flu and were unable to do what they had promised, and I didn't believe, I apologize.
It became clear to me over the past 5 days that I have never had the flu. If what I had was characterized as some type of flu, it was the pansy flu that came and went in a day or two. It was the flu that inconvenienced you and changed your plans, but it didn't change your outlook on life. It was the kind of flu that made you feel bad, but it didn't drag you into the gutter, beat the living crap out of you and then bring 5 more friends to take a few kicks while you were down. It wasn't the kind of flu that beat on you for 3 day days, then gave you a vision of wellness, before bringing you back into the gutter for another round. Ladies and Gentlemen, this will be EVER known as the Irish Flu in the annals of Rames folklore.
Last Wednesday started out normal enough. Alarms, whining about getting up, cajoling, lack of adequate showering facilities...normal stuff. As I finished my breakfast, I had a bit of a feeling of emptiness in my stomach that was strange after just having breakfast. I hopped on my bike and headed for work. Twenty minutes later, I was at the office, and changing into my work clothes (jeans and polo...). I walked into the office and gave my greetings and promptly said, "Do we have to have all the windows open, it's freezing in here?!" I got a look from about 5 of the 6 present like, "Are you serious?" Turns out the sun had been practicing the greenhouse effect on our office and the temp was actually about 80F. Something was amiss....
I sat down and immediately typed my password wrong 2 times because my fingers were shaking. Hmmmm? I put my jacket on and sat staring at my now functioning computer without any focus or purpose. Anyone that knows our office knows we do not lack of things to work on. After about 30 minutes of contemplation, I decided I should leave. No one argued. I got on my bike and that was really the last I saw of outdoors. Unfortunate for me as it was a beautiful week in Dublin.
Wednesday: Rode my bike home and got in bed. Proceeded to sweat and shiver my way through t shirts and sheets. No congestion, just fever and body aches. No food or desire for any. Actually made a call for work late in the day, but nothing more. Listened to my heart beat speed up/ slow down as my temperature fluctuated. It was scary as I could feel my heart rate move up to twice what it normally would be.
Thursday: Symptoms grew to pain in head. When I say I had pain in my head, I don't mean I just had a headache, which I did have. My skull actually hurt, too. As I sit here, I can run my fingers across my very short hair and generate pain. I equate it to the worst sunburn I've ever had on my scalp. Every nerve is on edge. Food, yeah, right. No food coming in today. Still staying hydrated, but little else.
Friday: OK, let's go to the doctor. I know what they're going to tell me. There's nothing they can do... You'll just have to let it "run it's course"... What the hell, let's go anyway. You could have convinced me to go to a voodoo doctor at this point, I was desperate. Dr. was great. She actually said all those things, but also said, I'm going to prescribe an antibiotic. Likely NOT going to be effective, but if it is not a virus, this will help. Martha made the comment that she couldn't ever remember me being on an antibiotic. I couldn't either. Prescription filled, went home.
Saturday: I had a great night's sleep. I thought I was on the way back. I was the same old task master for Saturday AM cleaning, much to the kids chagrin. I wasn't doing somersaults, but I got up and made pancakes and ate them. Life was looking up! Then I started coughing. The cough and congestion that hadn't been there was now all over the place. Uncontrollable and painful, accompanied by throbbing in my skull. Nothing like have a shooting pain inside your skull every time you cough and not being able to keep yourself from coughing. Martha got some awesome hot/sour soup from our local favorite and my appetite was back. Some setbacks, but still felt I was heading back. Woke up in the middle of the night requiring a wardrobe and sheet change due to another session of excessive sweating.
Sunday: Today. Still don't feel like the end is in sight. Missed Palm Sunday Mass where Grace sang, Rod read the part of Pilate, and J.J. played guitar. Rod also had a Rugby game that I couldn't get to. I've been able to eat, but the cough is still persistent. My nose started slowly bleeding, funny since I had hardly ANY congestion or had to blow my nose. Had up and down temperature today, so am pretty convinced the antibiotics are not doing anything, but will run them through. Looking at tomorrow and can't imaging exposing the office to my condition. Undoubtedly, I've never been off work for illness for 4 days in a row, especially with a weekend in the middle
I have a new-found respect for the word flu and vow to never use it in a way that would make it seem routine or normal. I can know see why so many people die from this. My temperature, heart rate, appetite, and outlook have all been impacted. If I get the flu, I vow to do my best to keep others from getting it. I think I've washed my hands 75 times over the past 5 days.
I vow to get a flu shot for myself and family and not find ways to be too busy to get it done. We had a few things going on during this year, but there's always time to get this done.
Sorry for the dark post, but it's been a dark week. Hopefully, the light will begin to come out and I can begin to fill out the jeans I have that currently look like my fat pants. I have no idea how much weight I lost as we don't have a scale, but it's been significant.
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