The "Talk" with Jamison

Like most of the schools we've been in, there comes a time when a form comes home and we are requested to approve of the school's efforts to give "the talk" to the kids.  Jamison's turn was in order. They have this talk in 6th Class in Ireland.

We've always been pretty upfront with them when they had questions, so we weren't too concerned about signing away and letting his mind be filled with the textbook presentation of growing up and sex. Man, was I wrong!!???

After getting home from work, J.J. was waiting, ready to pounce on me with details and comments.  No questions from this boy, only facts:

Scene 1:
J.J.:  Dad, I can't wear tighty whiteys anymore.
Dad: <Still breathing hard after getting off the bike>  Uhhh, why not?
J.J.: Well, did you know your testicles are supposed to be held at a temperature of 1 degree Celsius lower than your body temperature.
Dad: <Still catching my breath and attempting to understand what was hitting me.> I didn't know that?!
J.J.: The problem with tighty whiteys is that they hold your testicles too close and they get too warm.
Dad: <Nearly caught up and ready for the offensive.>  What happens if they get too warm?
J.J.: Don't know, but she said we shouldn't wear tighty whiteys, only boxers.
Dad: <On the offensive.>  She! She?  A "she" has no credibility making underwear choices for boys or men.  I have not found tighty whiteys to be a detriment in my life.
J.J.:  Just saying...


Scene 2 (about 1 minute later):
J.J.: Oh, Dad.  I'm not supposed to wear jeans anymore, either?
Dad:  <Now I'm ready.> Really, not
even loose fitting jeans?
J.J.: No jeans.  She said they're too tight too.
Dad:  What are you supposed to wear?
J.J.:  Sweatpants.
Dad:  Sweatpants?  That's it?  You can only wear sweatpants?  And only with boxers?
J.J.:  Yep.

Scene 3 (about 4 minutes later):
J.J.:  Dad? One more thing.
Dad:  Yes...
J.J.:  I'm only supposed to take a shower every 3rd day.
Dad: Huh?
J.J.:  Yep.  A boy my age should only have to shower every third day.
Dad:  Did you ask her about what you should do after you get out of hurling practice in the rain and mud and it's not the 3rd day?
J.J.: No.  Didn't ask her about that.
Dad:  Didn't think you would.

I think it is official.  I've found the last nun teaching sex education in the world.  She's obviously never been in the smelly room of an 11 year old and NEVER had "the talk" with an audience of experienced male underwear wearers on what the correct pair of underwear is for a young boy - One that can withstand multiple bleachings to rid them of unsightly skid marks...And she's obviously never read J.J.'s favorite cartoon (Calvin and Hobbes)!  He's definitely a brief guy, no boxers there!!


Jamison will be having his confirmation this Friday, so please keep him in your prayers.

The legs of a hurler (Jamison's)